Why Moms Who Gave Birth During the Pandemic Are Raising Kids Differently.

When the COVID-19 pandemic swept across the globe, it didn’t just disrupt economies or public health systems—it altered the very rhythm of motherhood. For women who gave birth during this period, the experience of welcoming a child into an unfamiliar, uncertain world was transformative. These mothers emerged with parenting practices profoundly shaped by isolation, resilience, and a deeper connection to their children. Today, they are raising their children in ways that reflect the raw lessons of that time.

The Birth of Intimacy in Isolation

In a world abruptly stripped of distractions, mothers and their babies were cocooned together. No revolving door of visitors. No chaotic rush to rejoin society. Instead, there was quiet—sometimes deafening, sometimes healing. For many mothers, this stillness became an invitation to bond more deeply with their children. Skin-to-skin moments stretched into hours. Days blended into nights filled with shared breaths and heartbeats.

The absence of external pressures allowed these mothers to observe their babies’ needs with unbroken attention. The rhythms of newborn cries, the flutter of tiny hands reaching for comfort—everything became amplified, intimate, sacred. In that isolation, many mothers discovered a new depth of connection, one unmarred by the usual rush of modern life. Research underscores this, showing that when parental stress is minimized, positive parenting behaviors such as warmth and affection flourish (Mesesan-Schmitz et al., 2024). Moreover, studies from high-income countries reveal that parents who were able to focus on bonding during this time reported enhanced attunement and responsiveness to their children’s needs (Adesanya et al., 2022).

Parenting Without a Village

The age-old adage that “it takes a village” became both a longing and a rallying cry. With physical communities inaccessible, mothers turned to virtual spaces for solace and advice. Online forums, Zoom support groups, and Instagram parenting circles became lifelines. For mothers navigating the challenges of breastfeeding, sleepless nights, and postpartum recovery, these digital sanctuaries offered both practical guidance and emotional validation.

But the pandemic also highlighted the disparities in access to support. Mothers without reliable internet, flexible jobs, or extended family nearby faced compounded struggles. For many, the absence of a physical village forced them to rely solely on their own inner reserves—a feat of endurance that redefined their understanding of strength and self-reliance. Research has shown that social support is a critical buffer against parental stress, yet mothers who lacked such support during the pandemic reported higher levels of anxiety and negative parenting behaviors (Mesesan-Schmitz et al., 2024; Adesanya et al., 2022).

Mental Health Took Center Stage

The pandemic didn’t just test the limits of physical endurance; it stretched emotional resilience to breaking points. Juggling remote work, health fears, and childcare in the same breath led to an unprecedented reckoning with mental health. Mothers found themselves grappling with anxiety, grief, and exhaustion in ways they hadn’t before. But they also found new ways to cope.

For some, therapy became a vital tool. For others, mindfulness practices, journaling, or simply sitting in stillness provided moments of reprieve. The pandemic normalized the conversation around maternal mental health, reminding mothers that tending to their own well-being wasn’t a luxury—it was a necessity. Studies affirm that mothers who developed coping mechanisms during the pandemic, such as mindfulness or seeking professional support, reported improved self-perceptions of their parenting abilities (Mesesan-Schmitz et al., 2024). Moreover, evidence suggests that emotional regulation and attunement improved when mothers focused on maintaining their mental health, positively impacting bonding with their children (Adesanya et al., 2022).

Letting Go of Perfection

In a world where even grocery shopping felt like a calculated risk, the pandemic obliterated the myth of perfect parenting. Gone were the meticulously planned birthday parties and Pinterest-worthy crafts. What remained was something simpler, rawer, and, in many ways, more beautiful.

Mothers learned to embrace imperfection. A messy house became a sign of life, not failure. Screen time limits gave way to survival strategies. The focus shifted from achieving milestones to simply being present. This recalibration wasn’t about lowering standards but about realigning priorities to focus on connection and authenticity.

Resilience as a Family Legacy

Amid the uncertainty, families discovered their own capacity for resilience. Mothers became architects of new routines, finding creative ways to make the everyday extraordinary. Baking bread became a lesson in patience; backyard adventures turned into voyages of discovery. Children learned adaptability from watching their mothers navigate a world in flux.

This resilience wasn’t born of stoicism but of vulnerability. It was found in the tearful breakdowns that gave way to breakthroughs, in the moments when mothers admitted they didn’t have all the answers but showed up anyway. It taught children an invaluable lesson: strength isn’t the absence of struggle but the willingness to keep going. As the Parental Stress Model emphasizes, resilience often stems from the ability to draw upon internal and external resources during times of crisis (Abidin, 1992; Mesesan-Schmitz et al., 2024). Similarly, the systematic review by Adesanya et al. (2022) highlights how responsive parenting during crises fosters stronger parent-child bonds and adaptability.

The Quiet Revolution in Parenting

As we step into a post-pandemic world, the echoes of those early days linger. The mothers who gave birth during the pandemic are raising children differently—not because they chose to but because the world required it of them. They are raising children with a deeper understanding of what it means to adapt, to connect, and to prioritize what truly matters.

This quiet revolution in parenting isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about the small, everyday choices to be present, to embrace imperfection, and to love fiercely. These pandemic-born practices are not temporary adaptations—they are enduring legacies of a time that reshaped what it means to be a mother.

To every mother who carried life into a world on pause: you are proof that even in the darkest times, love persists. And through your children, that love will continue to light the way.

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Further reading:

1. Mesesan-Schmitz L., Coman C., Stanciu C., Bucur V., Tiru L. G., & Bularca M. C. (2024). Changes in parenting behavior in the time of COVID-19: A mixed method approach. PLoS ONE, 19(4): e0302125. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0302125

2. Adesanya A. M., Barrett S., Moffat M., Aquino M. R. J., Nicholson W., Turner G., Cook E., Tyndall S., & Rankin J. (2022). Impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on expectant and new parents’ experience of pregnancy, childbirth, breast feeding, parental responsiveness and sensitivity, and bonding and attunement in high-income countries: A systematic review of the evidence. BMJ Open. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjopen-2022-066963

3. Abidin, R. R. (1992). The determinants of parenting behavior. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 21(4), 407–412. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15374424jccp2104_12