We’re Asking for Help—And Here’s Why You Should Too

Today, my husband and I are heading to the Mutter-Vater-Beratung—a free service here in Switzerland where trained professionals help parents navigate the many challenges of raising little ones. Sleep, feeding, development—you name it, they’ve heard it all.

If you had told me years ago that I’d be seeking out this kind of support, I might not have believed you. As a maternal health expert, I knew the research—I knew that asking for help makes parenting easier, strengthens mental health, and builds resilience. But when it came to my life? That knowledge somehow didn’t sink in. I thought I should be able to handle everything myself. I thought leaning on others meant I was failing.

Then, I had my twins. Three kids in three years. And suddenly, I couldn’t pretend to have it all under control anymore. The long nights, the relentless needs of tiny humans, the constant juggling act—it stretched me in ways I never could have imagined.

So, for the first time in my life, I did something radical. I asked for help.

The Moment Everything Changed

It started small. I told close friends I needed more help because I had deep respect for what lay ahead while I was pregnant with twins. I wasn’t desperate or overly emotional—I was simply preparing for the reality of what was to come.

Then I reached out to others. I asked friends and neighbors for help with meals, for an extra set of hands with childcare, for someone to fold the mountain of laundry that never seemed to shrink. I reached out to professionals, too—midwives, lactation consultants, sleep experts, and now, the Mutter-Vater-Beratung.

And something incredible happened. People showed up. They wanted to help. They brought warm meals, held my babies so I could shower, reassured me when I felt lost. Instead of feeling like I was burdening others, I realized that asking for help was a bridge to deeper connection.

In asking for help, I didn’t just get support—I built a community. And that has become the most important focus of my life.

Why Is Asking for Help So Hard?

I know I’m not alone in this. So many mothers struggle to ask for help. We’ve been taught to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. We internalize the message that “good mothers” should be able to do it all—without breaking, without needing support, without asking for a break.

But here’s the truth: We were never meant to mother alone.

Throughout history, parenting was always done in a village, surrounded by extended family, neighbors, and a web of support. It’s only in recent times that we’ve moved towards this isolated, do-it-all-yourself model of parenting. And it’s making us exhausted, lonely, and burned out.

How to Start Asking for Help

If asking for help feels impossible to you, I get it. It took me a long time to get here. But I promise, it gets easier. Here are a few ways to start:

1. Start small. If asking for big things feels overwhelming, start with something tiny. Let a friend bring you coffee. Say yes when someone offers to hold your baby while you eat.

2. Use local resources. Look for parenting support services in your area—many are free or low-cost. The Mutter-Vater-Beratung is an amazing resource here in Switzerland, but every country has its own version of support networks.

3. Let go of guilt. You are not failing by needing help. You are simply human. And humans are wired for connection and support.

4. Say yes when help is offered. Even if you think you can handle it, accepting help makes space for you to recharge and show up more fully for yourself and your kids.

   
   

The Power of Community

Now, as I continue to build my life as a mother of three, I see so clearly that community is everything. It’s the reason I’m passionate about supporting other mothers, about sharing my journey, about normalizing asking for help. Because I know what’s on the other side of that first, scary ask: Relief. Support. Belonging.

So today, as we head to the Mutter-Vater-Beratung, I remind myself that seeking support isn’t a sign of struggle—it’s a sign of strength. It’s a choice to mother with more ease, more connection, and more joy.