Motherhood Is Yours to Define—Don’t Let Anyone Else Tell You What It Should Look Like

Motherhood, for me, is everything, all at once—a messy, beautiful, chaotic mix of what matters most.

It’s three kids in three years, my home filled with the sounds of their laughter (and their arguments). It’s hand-me-downs that carry the stories of other families, a reminder that we are never doing this alone. It’s the quiet satisfaction of making things from scratch when I can—because somehow, in the midst of all the busyness, that small act feels grounding.

But here’s the thing: as much as I love making things from scratch, I also work outside the home—and I have since all my kids were five months old. I’ve spent years researching maternal health and decision-making, working with governments and global health organizations, and navigating the delicate balance of career and motherhood. I love my work. It challenges me, fulfills me, and gives me a sense of purpose beyond my role as a mother. And yet, I’ve felt the weight of expectations—the idea that I should be “all in” on one side or the other. That if I care about homemade meals and bedtime cuddles, I should be home full-time, and if I have a career, I shouldn’t also be striving to create a nurturing home. But the truth is, I am both. And so are so many of us.

Motherhood isn’t about choosing one path and shutting the door on the rest. It’s about making space for all the parts of ourselves—the nurturer, the professional, the creator, the thinker. Some days, I feel stretched thin. Other days, I feel immense pride in the way I’ve built a life that holds all of these things at once. But through it all, I remind myself: I am not failing. I am living my version of motherhood, and that is enough.

The Power of Community

None of this would be possible without my people—the ones who bring meals, offer encouragement, and remind me that I don’t have to do this alone. Because despite how modern motherhood often feels, we were never meant to mother in isolation.

Community isn’t just a luxury; it’s survival. It’s what allows me to show up—not just for my kids, but for myself.

The Truth About Motherhood

Motherhood isn’t one thing. It isn’t a formula to follow or a mold to fit into. It’s a collection of choices, moments, and values—woven together in a way that works for your life.

So if you ever find yourself questioning whether you’re doing it “right,” take a step back. Motherhood is yours to define. Don’t let anyone else tell you what it should look like.

You are enough. Your version of motherhood is enough. And you’re doing beautifully.