Ever Felt Judged for a Parenting Decision? Here’s What I’ve Learned After Talking to Mothers Around the World

If you’ve ever felt judged for a parenting decision, you’re not alone. Maybe it was about how you feed your baby, whether you co-sleep, how quickly you returned to work, or the million other choices we make as mothers. Judgment—whether from family, strangers, or even ourselves—can feel crushing.

But here’s what I’ve learned after spending years studying how women make decisions in pregnancy and motherhood—working with governments, WHO, UNICEF, and speaking with moms from Uganda to Switzerland: Motherhood never looks the same.

The Myth of the "Right" Way

We’re often sold the idea that there’s a “best” way to mother—an approach that, if followed perfectly, guarantees happiness, health, and well-adjusted kids. But when you talk to mothers across different cultures, you quickly realize that what feels “right” is often just what’s normal in that environment.

In some cultures, babies sleep in cribs; in others, they sleep next to their mothers until they’re toddlers. Some mothers rely on extended family for support, while others parent largely alone. Some are encouraged to breastfeed for years; others are told formula is just as good. The choices we make aren’t made in a vacuum—they’re shaped by culture, resources, and support systems.

So when we judge another mother’s choices (or feel guilt about our own), we’re often forgetting just how much context shapes what’s possible.

You’re Doing the Best You Can

One of the hardest parts of modern motherhood is that we are flooded with information and opinions but often lack real support. And without community, self-doubt creeps in.

Here’s the truth: You are making the best decision you can, with what you know, in the moment you’re in. And that’s all any mother can do.

So next time you feel judged—or catch yourself judging—pause. Be kind to yourself. And to each other. Because there’s no universal blueprint for motherhood. There’s just each of us, doing our best with the circumstances we have.

And that? That’s enough.